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August 2009 
Just enough to be strong in the broken places.....
Posted on Jan 5th, 2009
by 
Jane
Jane
I drove to Nashville today to visit my brother, and on the way, I thought a lot about brokeness. How it's all around us, in so many different forms, and how what I want most to do is help fix it - yet I don't even know where or how to begin.
I see it half a world a way, in a land torn apart by anger and bitterness and an endless cycle of revenge, a fight between two peoples who both believe the land is rightfully theirs, neither willing to let go or compromise. It breaks my heart to know of the lives that have been ripped asunder by this endless fighting. I want to go to this land, to meet these people, to be neutral and negotiate, to offer myself as a servant to those in need of healing, but those close to me say the land is too broken, too dangerous, too far gone for it to be worth the risk. But if no one takes a risk to make a stand for what they believe in, how can the healing ever begin?
I see it in my own home, in my father - a man who is but half a man, unable to compensate having lost the person he loved more than the world. Looking at him, the obvious assumption is that he has a severe personality disorder; schizophrenia, perhaps, or Asbergers. Perhaps he does. I am no psychological expert. But what I do know is that he is broken. Horribly broken, and he has no idea. To him, he should be "past" the stages of grief by now, so therefore he must be. He has found himself on a quest to tell people of the power of God to provide physical healing from death and disease, but the truth is that he is the one who needs the healing the most - healing of the soul. If I could carry him through this, take him beyond this endless cycle of denial and anger, I would do so in a heartbeat. But I can't. Part of me believes I need to let him fight his own way through this because there is no other way, while the other part of me cries that to leave him alone is to leave him to ultimate failure and utter defeat.
What can I do? I know I am called to the broken places, but I haven't the slightest idea what to do once I get there.
shalom,
jane
I see it half a world a way, in a land torn apart by anger and bitterness and an endless cycle of revenge, a fight between two peoples who both believe the land is rightfully theirs, neither willing to let go or compromise. It breaks my heart to know of the lives that have been ripped asunder by this endless fighting. I want to go to this land, to meet these people, to be neutral and negotiate, to offer myself as a servant to those in need of healing, but those close to me say the land is too broken, too dangerous, too far gone for it to be worth the risk. But if no one takes a risk to make a stand for what they believe in, how can the healing ever begin?
I see it in my own home, in my father - a man who is but half a man, unable to compensate having lost the person he loved more than the world. Looking at him, the obvious assumption is that he has a severe personality disorder; schizophrenia, perhaps, or Asbergers. Perhaps he does. I am no psychological expert. But what I do know is that he is broken. Horribly broken, and he has no idea. To him, he should be "past" the stages of grief by now, so therefore he must be. He has found himself on a quest to tell people of the power of God to provide physical healing from death and disease, but the truth is that he is the one who needs the healing the most - healing of the soul. If I could carry him through this, take him beyond this endless cycle of denial and anger, I would do so in a heartbeat. But I can't. Part of me believes I need to let him fight his own way through this because there is no other way, while the other part of me cries that to leave him alone is to leave him to ultimate failure and utter defeat.
What can I do? I know I am called to the broken places, but I haven't the slightest idea what to do once I get there.
shalom,
jane
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