forget internships, forget fellowships, forget structure.

i'm going on a journey this summer.

i'm going to hitchike, backpack, hop a train, stay in hostel, surf a couch, work a farm, and i'm going to do it all 4,160 miles from home.

i'm going to alaska, loves.

ever since i found that poster of denali and put it up in my room, i've wanted to go. spend a summer doing whatever the hell i felt like, feel the wilderness, pull a chris mccandless without the dying part. and now it's going to happen, i'm going to make it happen, and I couldn't be more excited.

i love the way life works sometimes :)

last night i dreamt about my first love.

i dreamt that we were friends, that we had lunch and went walking in the woods.

if i could have a wish granted, i'd wish for that dream to be true.


i know that he wasn't really right for me, that he wasn't just the right person at the wrong time, that it never could have worked out. i overcame that a while ago. but he was something else to me, a friend in a time of dire need. perhaps he was just put in my life for those moments to get me through that time, but is it too much to ask to have that friend back? that friend who cared, cared about the earth and about me and who i trusted with so much, who shared his heart and his soul with me for those passing moments? i miss that friend.

take the lover away from me - that i can live with. but the friend, couldn't you leave him? perhaps its my fault that he's gone. who can say for certain? but to have him back, just as that friend, just for a time, would be the sweetest thing I could dream of.





shalom,
jane